Two Stardust's, One Jack
by The Warrior Of Twilight
Summary: If you've read "A Journey Beyond Sanity" and all my other one-shots, you'd probably guess what happens. CHS, three versions of Stardust Balance all dating the girls of their dreams. Of course, that hardly stops the three men from arguing over the pointless little things. This time, that includes a Canterlot High Christmas play.
1. What's That? Is That The Script?

**AN: I was bored... Enjoy!**

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"You had to do that, didn't you? You just had to open your giant fat mouth like that."

"Oi! Don't just put all the blame on me; you're also at fault for not stopping me! Twilight, tell him!"

"Both of you, please, calm down. Bickering childishly won't get us anywhere."

"She's right, we're all under a lot of stress right now. But he's also right, Stardust, maybe if you were a little less critical over the performances..."

Observing the heated exchanges between both Stardust's and both Twilight's, Jack leaned to the side and muttered in quiet bemusement to his girlfriend. "You'd think the two were finally starting to get along."

Sunset couldn't repress a small amused smile. "No kidding." Watching both golden teenagers fight like that, with both versions of Twilight Sparkle stepping in as damage control, wasn't entirely anything new. Sometimes it was amusing to watch. Other times, exasperating. This, currently, was sticking to the latter.

The argument in question? Auditions. CHS was hosting an annual Christmas play, December having begun yesterday. And somehow, Canterlot High's Stardust Balance, arguably the most brash and hot-headed of the trio, was chosen as a judge alongside Twilight and Sunset. While he can be blunt at times, Stardust did possess a rational and ideal mind for these type of occasions. The Canterlot High Twilight, stepping beside her tall rash boyfriend like the Equestrian Twilight was, expressed hope that, since Christmas was coming around, the holiday spirit would make Stardust less critical over the auditions in question.

How terribly wrong she was, as demonstrated by the handful of volunteers running back in either fright or tears by Stardust's 'unbiased' opinion. The pony Stardust and Twilight, having visited the school for the day, arrived in the nick of time to see the former's human counterpart hurl blatant criticism at the last teenage girl to audition with the tact of a charging swordfish, resulting in the girl to storm out tearfully despite Sunset and Twilight's own assurances she did just fine.

Because she did, in Sunset's opinion. All the performances weren't half bad; she suspected Stardust was just entertaining himself by challenging his own girlfriend's judgement. Twilight probably thought so too. It really didn't help that the play would commence in two and a half weeks.

As pony Stardust kept criticizing his human self for lack of tact, the third Stardust - whom goes by his real name as Jack - was smirking in self-amusement, having also witnessed the events just a few minutes ago. The two sat upon the edge of the school hall's stage, the short, dark-brown haired young man in glasses leaned forward. "If it helps, I thought that last one's performance was fine."

Sunset smiled sincerely at her own boyfriend's reassurance. You'd think that dating an older man whose alternate counterparts were also dating two of your best friends would be bizarre to the extreme... And you'd be right. "They should've made you a judge instead."

Jack laughed at the teasing response. "I probably would've appraised all the auditions just to impress you love."

Sunset grinned wryly at that, gesturing to the two tall golden teens exchanging insults. "It'd honestly be more preferable than... That."

"Over-critical prune!"

"Softened coward!"

"Stubborn bitter mong!"

"Pony [BEEP]er!"

 _"Language!"_ Both Twilight said simultaneously, purple features heating up in sync. In reply, both annoyed versions of Stardust, or Jack whichever you'd prefer, resorted instead to glaring at one another. Which was somewhat better, but things weren't going to improve if the two kept arguing like that.

Sunset was admittedly gratified, once again, to have the version of them who preferred against arguing and acted more patient than annoyed. Despite appearing the least attractive by many girls' standards, what with Jack's front bucked upper teeth, spots all over his face and sometimes greasy hair, not to mention being as short as, say, a regular twelve-year-old, Sunset was never too picky. On the contrary, the pony-teenager was charmed by Jack's loyalty and kindness, his willingness to help others regardless of what happens to himself. He wasn't hideous by all means, but Sunset found that personality and looks can go equally hand in hand. Of the three versions in the room, Jack was the most reserved.

Speaking of which, the short boy, barely reaching Sunset's height, leaned to the side again and inquired with faint humour, "Do you think I should step in?"

A small grin. "I'd be grateful if you would."

"Anything for you, Sun Goddess." Jack said playfully, using his favourite definition of her, prompting both amusement and sense of fluttering in Sunset's chest. Hopping off the stage, the second oldest of the three Stardust's approached the two glaring boys with a gesture of peace. "Maybe we should stop for the day and try again tomorrow."

The Twilight with glasses smiled whereas the other nodded. "That sounds splendid, thank you Jack."

"No prob... Anything to stop my cranky selves from arguing."

The CHS Stardust snorted in annoyance. "Says the man who gets to sleep in whenever he wants."

"Why are _you_ complaining?" The pony Stardust pointed in response, defending his shorter self. "You often sleep in the library at lunch time."

"Who told you that bull[BEEP]?"

"Twilight."

"How would your Twilight know-?"

"No _your_ Twilight."

"Oh... Wait, Twilight what the Hell?"

"Guys guys!" Steeping in between the two as a mediator, Jack insisted playfully, "Come on, don't act like children in front of your girlfriends."

 _"Says you!"_ The tall golden men in long blue coat retorted hotly. Meanwhile, Sunset, Twilight and other Twilight all shared the exact same look to one another. No matter how hard they try, they can never stop their boyfriends from somehow getting into heated debates against each other.

But, secretly, the girls wouldn't have it any other way.


	2. Bash Sentry

"Just so we're clear, we agree that Lyra's the best choice for the female lead."

"Sure." Stardust nodded in agreement with his shorter self. "She certainly has the energy for it." The pony Stardust and Jack conversed jovially from one side of the School Hall, a day after the disastrous audition trials took place. With human Stardust currently busy handling homework, there was little heated debates echoing all over the massive interior.

Thank goodness. From the other side of the hall, CHS's Twilight was speaking with the student script writer, leaving pony Twilight and Sunset to observe their respective special someponies/somebodies with feelings of relief and content. It was no secret that pony Stardust and Jack got along better than with the school's Stardust, and having just those two around with no arguments was a breath of fresh air.

"Looks like one of those rare instances." Sunset commented humouredly, crossing her arms with an approving smile at the sight. "It feels likes you can't have a normal day without any of them bickering. Thank goodness, huh?"

Twilight mirrored her friend's posture, relieved herself. "Your Jack and my Jack evidently get along better. I just wish that was the case with my other self's Twilight too." They both glanced to the preoccupied glasses-wearing Twilight, briefly expressing sympathy. "I remember how hard-headed my Jack use to be. She's got her work cut out for her."

"I think she can handle it." Sunset said in empathy, confidence in her eyes. "I think she secretly enjoys the challenge."

"You have it lucky." Pony Twilight grinned in amusement, turning to the only other real person around here from Equestria. "Your Jack's far more level-headed than mine was back when we first met."

Sunset shrugged in stride, a hint of fondness in her town regarding her boyfriend. "I think it's because he's alot older when we first met, while both Stardust's in Equestria and Canterlot High were both... Nineteen, right?"

The Princess of Friendship nodded in agreement, eyes sparkling in fond yet weary reminisce. "He was a handful... And at present times that still rings true." To that, both teens exchanged light-hearted knowing chuckles, Twilight continuing while looking back to her tall boyfriend in discussion with Sunset's shorter partner. "Back then, he was filled with such bitter rage... I think aging back in his home-world dampened that attitude before he met you, hence why he's less hostile than the other Jack here."

Sunset tilted her head. "Whereas your Jack dropped the attitude upon hanging out with you, Spike and your friends in Equestria?"

Twilight smiled briefly. "I like to believe we all influenced his current behaviour someway there..." With an amused shake of the head, the Princess looked back to her pony friend. "So, any further auditions planned for today."

Sunset nodded with a grin, looking towards the stage. "Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Pinkie Pie offered to help with setting up the props. Rarity's busy designing the costumes as we speak. Fluttershy's gonna see if she can get some of her little friends to help. You know, make things feel more authentic."

"That sounds great Sunset."

Sunset smiled at the sincere compliment. "The auditions are scheduled for half an hour. We spent all morning encouraging people who applied yesterday to try again. This time we're hoping they won't run out in tears again-" The sound of the hall doors opening paused the dark yellow teen, prompting those nearby to look over. "Someone's already here to- Oh."

Walking in - Or moreso, storming in - was the third Stardust Balance himself. Accompanying him from behind, wearing a sheepish grin at the attention their way, quickly vanished the smiles of the other two Jack's. CHS Stardust simply jabbed a thumb behind him. _"This_ wanted to be in the auditions."

Flash only waved in response, walking past the scowling Stardust towards the girls. "Hey Twilight, Sunset." He greeted friendly, prompting the girls to smile. The three Jack's might despise Flash with every fiver in their being, but that was opposite with their girlfriends. Flash wasn't a bad guy.

It's hard work though trying to persuade their stubborn special partners of that though.

"Never pegged you for acting Flash." Sunset folded her arms, bemused and amused by her ex.

Flash chuckled warmly. "Hope I'm not too late to apply."

"Not at all." CHS Twilight joined them, smiling pleasantly. "Although you'll to wait for a bit. We're still busy setting up other things for the play." Out of the corner of pony Twilight's eye, the three Stardust/Jack's were conversing among one another, looking like they were in agreement over something.

Was that a bad thing? It wouldn't be if Twilight suspected- No, _knew exactly_ what they were getting along about. With a sigh, Twilight excused herself from the others and walked to the other side of the School Hall, speaking with expectancy, "I certainly hope you're not intending on being unfair to Flash's audition."

All three Jack's turned to her, one scowling, one looking faintly amused, and one smiling coyly. "I mean, I'm not the judge here love."

"Neither am I."

Twilight motioned to her alternate self's boyfriend. "I meant the one being the actual judge."

The human Stardust curled his lips. "Who am I, Rainbow Dash? Think I'm gonna be spiteful just because I don't like the [BEEP]tard?" Twilight's look was the only answer needed, and Stardust rolled his eyes. "I doubt he'll do any good anyway, so don't worry if I criticize his 'performance.'"

Twilight sighed, already feeling a headache coming on, and looked to her Jack for help. Grimacing in turn, her boyfriend glanced at his other tall self. "Just be fair to him like everyone else you've reviewed, alright? Twilight's right." The Princess smiled gratefully.

Jack - the short one in his true bodily form - added with a hint of mischief, "I'd certainly prefer him over Timber." That prompted her Jack to grin spitefully and nod. Twilight sighed again, it was better than nothing, she supposed.

"You're so easily whipped..." The other Twilight's boyfriend muttered.

"Yeah? You always keel over to what your Twilight asks without hesitation."

"When?"

"All the time."

"Guys, come on now..."

"And you Jack. When was the last time you ever said 'no' to Sunset?"

"Um..."

"Exactly! You two love your pony girlfriends so much you'll do anything you ask of them!"

"Now hold on, Sunset and I haven't reached that stage just yet..."

"And you're one to talk, Stardust; _your_ Twilight's so vulnerable you're afraid of even upsetting her a little."

"That's not true and you know it!"

Twilight pinched the bridge of her nose, knowing this was too good to last. Could things get any worse now? Unfortunately, Flash decided to approach upon the three Jack's heated bickering with a friendly tone, "Hey Twilight, Sunset might think I'll get the main lead-"

 _"Shut up Sentry."_ In harmony, all three Jack's directed their venomous words towards the ill-prepared innocent teen. Twilight fought long and hard to repress the smile threatening to emerge on her lips.

Not that she hated Flash, that would never happen. But nowadays, anything for those three to stop disagreeing for just a minute, regardless how much Twilight enjoyed seeing her special somepony passionate over something.

It felt like this was gonna be another long day...

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 **AN: Maybe I'll do the next one in the perspective of human Twilight...**


	3. The Shy Intellect And Bad Boy

**AN: I honestly have no idea where I'm even going with this. That's the price of boredom, I suppose.**

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"Sorry, Twilight-"

"Negative five dash eighty-three."

"Alright... And-"

"Two-point-six minus seventy-three."

"Thanks love... Umm-"

"Five times twenty-five."

"Okay..." Twilight heard the sound of pencil scribbling on paper, preoccupied herself with the laptop resting on her lap. Stardust spoke up again, "Sorry but-"

"Nine subtracting zero-point-two-"

"No, Twilight, I mean sorry for distracting you constantly like this."

Twilight paused, glancing to the man sat on the edge of her own bed next to her. It was another afternoon spent between the two and their many study sessions in Twilight's bedroom, a common spot they hang out in when Twilight wasn't busy with her friends or some research experiment. Stardust was focusing on his homework, but the glasses-wearing teenager was busy organizing the schedule for the school play's rehearsal sessions.

She smiled at the boy's sincere reluctance to keeping her momentarily distracted. "Don't worry about it." He might have a reputation around Canterlot High, but the man was big softie on the inside, always worrying about becoming a burden or nuisance to those close to him. Twilight glanced back to her own work.

Now then, eight forty-five should work, next Wednesday... And three-thrity in the afternoon then and Thrusday... Oh, maybe at lunch time on Thursday as well, from twelve to twelve-thirty. That'll work.

Nodding in satisfaction, Twilight typed down all the ideal plans and prepared to send them through email to Sunset, but not before tilting the laptop to an angel her boyfriend could see. "What do you think?"

Pausing from his homework, the teen to her right looked at the scheduled times for this week and nodded in assent. "Looks fine to me. Good job Twilight."

Smiling, flattered by the light praise, Twilight proceeded with the email. "Just got to send it to Sunset, and see what she thinks. Minus some setbacks last week, we're making some decent progress; it'll be prudent we start rehearsals tomorrow morning right off the bat."

"We can get the approval from the teacher." Stardust added, gazing down at his work in concentration. "Anything to avoid another boring-[BEEP] lecture suits me fine..."

Twilight, in turn, placed the laptop aside for the moment to inspect the papers laid around them. "How are you doing with the Math homework?"

Stardust's expression tightened, not even hiding his disdain and irritation. "Enduring it thanks to you." A tired grin. "Don't know where I'd be without you, love."

"Feared by all in CHS." Twilight picked up her own homework, acquiring a pencil to her side. "Need any more help?"

"Nah, I can handle it."

"..."

Stardust sighed. "Alright, I confess; this is downright impossible for me. They never taught me this [BEEP]-"

"Language."

"- Back in my own high school!" The tall yellow bearded teen took a moment to rub his own forehead, voice exasperated. "Suddenly I miss being in the special classes for the 'special kids.'"

"Haven't you said a sigfinicant number of times how much you despised being in those classes?" Twilight asked rhetorically, getting straight to work as they conversed. "What question are you on?"

"Fifteen. You?"

"Twenty-eight." Twilight barely restrained a small smile at her boyfriend's loud groan. "Give me a moment, I'll be done with mine so I can help with yours."

"You don't have to Twilight..." The teenager recognized that tone anywhere; it was the voice when Stardust was hesitant to accept help of any kind. "I can't keep relying on your help all the time..."

"You don't." Twilight replied back sincerely, glancing at the man from the corner of her eye. "You do try to succeed by yourself. Before we even met, you've been doing fine with your grades. Math is just one of those subjects you've having difficulty in. Besides," The glasses-wearing purple student finished with the final Math question as she spoke, setting the paper down with a satisfying look. Twilight turned to her reluctant partner with a complete smile. "I never mind helping you."

Stardust inclined his head, letting Twilight view his own sheet. The teenager opened her mouth to educate her sturggling boyfriend-

"You deserve better."

Twilight paused, then sighed. "Jack-"

"I mean it, Twilight, you honestly deserve a million times better." Stardust looked to her, beautiful cyan eyes in distraught. "It's no secret I'm the least liked of all three of me. I don't understand how you could-"

Twilight was not having this argument, not again. A purple finger quickly shushed the man's troubled lips, a faint blush on Twilight's cheeks for being so bold. "You're equally adored as your other selves. You just have... More passion in your posture and actions." At least, in school anyway. Outside of Canterlot High, Stardust/Jack was another person entirely. It's no secret of Stardust's disgust to the school and almost all its students, but when he's far away from the building, the real side to this man shows himself.

Stardust Balance reverts back to Jack Wright.

And, internally, Twilight was secretly pleased to have this hidden persona of him all to herself. Well, Spike often brought out that side of him also. The dog in question was currently playing in the garden.

"And I wouldn't have you any other way."

Stardust smiled slightly, the homework forgotten for a brief moment as Stardust set it aside and drew his girlfriend closer. Twilight felt more heat on her face at the commencing cuddle, Stardust placing his hands around onto her back and pulling her towards his chest. The gratified boy mumbled into her hair, "You're amazing, ungodly amazing..."

Twilight released a small grinned, wrapping her arms around the boy's waist and snuggling into his chest. Another one of these quiet moments between the two. The hardened bitter exterior of Stardust Balance taken down to show the weary, love-seeking Jack Wright. Though he may deny it, Twilight knew there was more to this boy than either he or the student body percieves. A troubled, regretful young man burdened by his reliability on others and all the past mistakes he's made. They were very much alike in that regard.

Jack might not be as intelligent, fun-loving or enthusiastic as his girlfriend. But he was passionate when need be, self-righteous, unwilling to step down against injustice or corrupted authority. He wasn't afraid to speak his mind and always protect others. Including others he claims to despise.

Twilight could stay in this position with the man she feels so strongly for forever...

"Ahem." A polite voice immediately destroyed the moment, both Stardust and Twilight quickly pulling back and looking to the woman by the doorway. Uh oh. Twilight's mother observed the spectacle with a warm teasing smile. "Studying indeed. Dinner's ready dears; Stardust, you're welcome to join us as always. Come down whenever you're ready..."

A knowing look from her own mother prompted Twilight's red cheeks to deepen even further. Nothing could escape that woman's insight. Stardust, while not blushing, looked torn between annoyance and embarrassment. Twilight, sharing that sentiment over the moment being ruined, temporarily, coughed with a forced smile. "We can finish up your homework and check if Sunset's replied after dinner."

Stardust, accompanying her to the hallway, muttered in faint amusement, "Chances are your brother's gonna glare daggers at me again."

Twilight couldn't stop giggling behind her hand briefly. "That's absurd and you know it Jack. Shining's been liking you for a while now. Maybe you should show more mannerisms at the tabl;e this time around."

"Hmm... Tempting, love. But in all honesty..." Stardust grinned, a challenge glinting in his eyes. "I'd love to see exactly what Shining could possibly do to me."

Twilight shook her head, huffing in exasperated amusement. She adored this stubborn man too much to dissuade him.

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 **AN: Anyone got any ideas for next time? Maybe I'll do some Timber-bashing for a start.**


	4. Mi Amore And The Wright Stuff

"Thank you again for inviting me to visit." Celestia's niece commented warmly, being escorted by the older woman down a particular hallway. "Luckily I managed to fit some time in my busy schedule to see how your play is getting along. Being an official Principal than Vice Principal now is harder work."

"I'm confident you're handling things wonderfully at Crystal Prep." Celestia replied sincerely, leading the pink formally dressed young woman towards two metallic doors. "It gets easier over time once you get use to the position, believe me. I'm so glad the students of Crystal Prep will have the chance to see CHS's ways of having a school play." They stopped right before the doors, white hands on the handles. "Currently the main production team are inside, and I have every piece of faith they're getting everything set up for the next two weeks splendidly."

And the doors finally opened. Cadence smiled. "I don't doubt it. And I hear Twilight's among them. They couldn't be in safer-"

"You [BEEP]-sucking neanderthal!"

"Hold him down!"

"Twilight, get over here and appease your bomb of a boyfriend!"

The two adults were greeted with a sight that prompted a befuddled blinking Cadence, and weary sighing Celestia who rubbed her own forehead. "Of course, Stardust Balance is, as I'm beginning to regret making that choice, also behind the team..."

The yellow tall teenager in question had both arms pulled back by Jack and Applejack respectively, a terrified Flash shielded by Rarity and Rainbow Dash as no doubt the target of the boy's fury. Twilight was standing between them, coaxing the angered teen with calm and pleading words. Celestia barely had to hazard a guess that, somehow, Flash Sentry had incurred the wrath of the volatile Stardust.

Again.

"He didn't mean anything by it." Twilight reassured her boyfriend, gently cupping his cheeks so he was staring directly at her, blue-green eyes blazing in fury... Then shimmering down at the sparkling violet orbs behind the large glasses. "It wasn't intended as an insult. Calm down... For me?"

Worked like a charm. Jack and Applejack released the relaxed taller teen, sighing in relief. Celestia did too, glad things hadn't escalated much worse. Walking over, the Principal of Canterlot High commented lightly, "I see the rehearsals are progressing well."

The others turned to her, a sheepish Twilight lighting up at the other adult accompanying the Principal. "Cadence!" The pink woman beamed at her favourite former student, welcoming the warm hug between them.

"Glad to see you're doing well, Twilight." Cadence said warmly, glancing over the purple teenager with a humoured smile. "And nice to see you again, Stardust."

"Hm." All was well at good, save for Stardust now pointedly ignoring Flash's presence now. Sighing, Sunset approached Celestia with an apologetic grin.

"Sorry you had to see that. Stardust took something Flash said out of context. And tried to, and I quote, 'Rip him into bloody pieces.'"

"What else is new...?" Rainbow muttered, glaring over to the two teens. "I don't think we're gonna get anything done is these two can't get along!"

"Let's not ask for miracles, Rainbow." Several chuckled whereas others sighed at the truthful quip. Cadence blinked, finally taking notice properly of the young boy- No, man standing beside Stardust. A shorter individual with dark brown hair, small glasses and playful hazel eyes.

"Oh!" Cadence gasped in realization, addressing the person. "You must be the third Stardust I've heard much about."

At that, the short man grinned, revealing pointy teeth, and he approached with an offered hand, shaking hers politely. "Just call me Jack. Finally lovely to meet you Miss Amore."

Amused by the manners, Cadence chuckled. "Call me Cadence in turn."

"If you insist."

From a distance, Stardust snorted. "Calm down Casanova." And Jack playfully glared at his younger, taller self, whereas Sunset shook her head and looked back to the Principal of CHS.

"Would you like to see what we've done so far? The scripts themselves are almost finished, and Rarity's already completed all the costumes. They're pretty great, I have to say."

The fashioner in question gracefully dismissed the compliment. "I simply did my best." Celestia smiled, turning to Cadence briefly.

"I'll be back in just a moment. Excuse me while I inspect things backstage." Cadence nodded, Celestia following after Sunset and an enthusiastic Rarity towards the stage. But her curious eyes lingered, however, on the man walking back to converse with his alternate self, then snapping his head to the other Principal.

"Hey Celestia, you suck."

The tall adult sighed loudly. "As you keep telling me, Jack."

"Just making sure." As Stardust snickered.

"He's a little... Different from his other two selves." Cadence pointed out, looking to her favourite teenager for an explanation. But as Twilight opened her mouth after nodding-

"That's because unlike his other two selves Jack's allowed to keep using his real body because of some magic that lets him breathe normally without physically adapting to this world." A joyful Pinkie Pie described it in one breath, beaming brightly.

Twilight sheepishly smiled. "That's pretty much the case. I don't fully understand it either." She glanced to the two 'aliens.' "Then again, they've always been an enigma to me. I swear magic is less difficult to figure out than those three..."

Cadence looked at her with a knowing smile. "From what your messages to me suggest, that's nothing unusual." Twilight chuckled alongside her. "I trust he's been taking good care of you so far?"

Twilight raised a brow. "Did Shining ask you to inquire that?"

The Principal of Crystal Prep smirked. "You know him. Always worried for his little sis. And concerning Stardust's... Nature, the wariness can't be faulted too much. But." Cadence placed a hand on Twilight's shoulder reassuringly. "I have faith in you knowing what you're doing. Stardust is taking good care of you. In time, Shining will see that too."

The teen nodded, smiling. "Yeah... Although there's one minor inaccuracy about that."

"Hm? What would that be?"

Twilight smirked, almost mischievously. "It's moreso that I take care of _him."_

"Come on you [BEEP]clowns; put more emotion into it!"

"You're making Tommy Wiseau look like oscar-winning actor!"

They watched in utter amusement/exasperation at the jabs aimed at the people rehearsing, Cadence then opting to inquire next, "So, how are you doing in Canterlot High?"

The next ten minutes or so consisted of Cadence and Twilight catching up, Celestia backstage, the others working to get everything ready and perfect for the play in two weeks, and Stardust and Jack hurling insults - I'm sorry, 'legit criticism' - at the people practicing.

"What impression is that? Nicholas Cage?"

"Birdemic has more character with its actors compared to this farce of rehearsals."

Eventually, both boys, to the relief of many especially the ones they were yelling at, got bored of shouting. Stardust moved elsewhere to help Applejack and Fluttershy with the props, and Jack idly headed towards Cadence and Twilight, the latter then excusing herself to continue helping her friends.

"Always responsible." Jack nodded to the retreating teen, standing beside the Principal with crossed arms. "You should be proud."

Cadence smiled. "I never stopped."

"...So out of interest, what brings you from your duties as Principal to come here?"

"Crystal Prep's been invited to watch the play here once it's ready. I'm here early to see how things are getting along with Celestia."

"Ah, goodie. More people to hate."

Cadence then glanced curiously to the nodding shorter adult. "And what about you? You're neither a student nor a teacher, as I've heard. Are you helping out through volunteering?"

"Meh." Jack shrugged. "Mostly because I'm bored. And any excuse to see Sunset, really."

"And your friends?"

"Oh yeah them too." A playful smirk after that remark, and Cadence chuckled at realizing the joke. Jack grinned, showing off more sharp teeth. "Also to make sure my younger self doesn't go too far and commit mass genocide." They both looked on to the yellow teen, who was immediately joining Twilight to help like an obedient puppy.

The tall adult raised an intrigued brow. "I didn't think organizing plays would be his thing."

"It isn't. But Celestia needed people who could think out side of stereotypical habits. Plus, he has Twilight to motivate him. Lucky dog."

Cadence nodded, finally looking to the man beside her. "You're his older self, correct?"

"Mm-hm."

"So you had similar behaviour as him in the past, am I right?"

"Yeah...?"

"Then, if you don't mind, could you tell me as to why he's so furious?" Cadence frowned softly, noting the dropped smile on Jack's face. "Twilight's answers are vague, but you would know yourself better, wouldn't you? Sometimes, that pure anger and rage I've witnessed contained inside of him... What has Stardust possibly been through to warrant that amount of fury."

Jack sighed, shrugging weakly with a tiny grin. "Let's just say... Experiencing high school all over again, after everything he went through in the previous school, is taking its toll on him." He motioned to the yellow teen smiling alongside a busy Twilight. "He's been through a lot, to say the least."

The Principal slowly nodded, regarding the two with open worry. "Can she truly help him...?"

"...That's up to her." Jack cocked his head with a furrowed brow. "Twilight sees something in him that even I don't, just like the other Twilight with her Jack. But if I'm being honest... Twilight's possibly the best thing to ever happen to him thus far."

Cadence observed the two interacting from afar, inclining to agree on that sentiment. Her bemused look shifted to faint amusement then at the blue-haired teenager approaching the couple and immediately causing Stardust to stop chuckling. "Maybe one day I'll learn why he seems to despite Mr Sentry over there."

Jack laughed earnestly. "Be thankful it's him instead of Timber. Then _I'd_ be mad, and trust me, Cadence, no one here would want that."

* * *

 **AN: Maybe I'd have this fic done by Christmas. Seems appropriate.**


	5. The Reformed Sun And Cosmic Child

Sunset was humming a pleasant tune this afternoon; after another rather progressive day of rehearsal and making sure everything's on track, the pony-turned-teenager was content relaxing with her boyfriend back home... Through finally decorating the Christmas tree. The teen smiled at another ornament satisfyingly placed, reaching for the next one in the box beside her feet. One of the few treasured moments that reminded her of Hearth's Warming, back in Equestria, when she use to decorate the tree with her family...

A small moment of reminiscence, before Sunset snapped out of it with a lowered smile. No, she should be enjoying this. Christmas and Hearth's Warming alike were designed for happiness and good will, and her family back home probably wanted her to experience that just as much as she did for them.

She missed them, terribly... But she's found a new family, in this world, in the form of the girls, Jack, Stardust and the rest. And she wouldn't trade them for the world.

They've given her hope... And Sunset intends to repay that favour everyday.

Dusting her hands of invisible dirt at her and Jack's handiwork - The latter presently in the bathroom - the reformed teenager looked down at the last ornament which should be in the box-

"Hmm?" The star for the top was missing. Sunset frowned curiously. "That's strange, I could've sworn it was..."

Her answer was provided by a star dangling above her face, prompting the teen to roll her eyes in endearment and turn to face the playful man, crossing her arms with a smirk. "Jack, may I have that please?"

With a grin, Jack answered, "For an intense make-out session, I can happily oblige." Sunset huffed playfully, reaching out to grab the item... With her joyful boyfriend pulling it from her reach, leaning back in amusement. "Come on love you're about my size-" Sunset took him by surprise with old-fashioned distraction through a kiss, grabbing the item with grace as Jack was stunned.

Smirking victoriously, the teenager proceeded to place the last piece of the puzzle on top of the tree and stepped back, the pair beaming at their combined effort. Sunset nodded, mostly to her self and glanced to Jack. "I think we've made great results here."

"Only because of your magic touch." The short man winked, the background noise alerting him to the lit TV. "Oh hey, another generic Christmas song! How long until those cookies are ready again?"

Sunset performed a quick mental calculation. "Fifteen minutes at best. Feeling hungry?"

"Only for your lips." Jack grinned wolfishly, to Sunset's flushed amusement. Out of the three of him and his other selves, this one was the most coy; playfully flirting and lacking as much pride and self-dignity as both versions of Stardust. Not that Sunset minded in the least; she was glad to have the most playful one of them. The short man held out a hand, and the knowing Sunset gleefully accepted the offer, Jack raising the voume of the TV and looking back to his girlfriend with a fond gaze.

"A dance, my lady?"

She giggled lightly. "Of course, good sir."

A moment of passing the time, but something Sunset wasn't going to object to anytime soon. A playful waltz around the living room, both having little experience but the time of their lives. Enjoying each other's company, that's what matters. Cerulean eyes gazed at hazel behind glasses, Sunset seeing the kindred spirit buried beneath.

Perhaps that's also why she adored this man... And why she wanted to embrace him tightly. Sunset knew Jack had a rough upbringing; harassed and taken advantage of by his peers, used as a means of entertainment and blame. Self-isolated from the expectations of his parents. CHS's Twilight's Stardust shared those years of pain resulting in self-loathing, resulting in that high temper and angry outbursts at everyone and everything around him. Nowadays, Stardust was mellowing out from Twilight's patient and willing to help him overcome the regret and anger for the past, just as the pony Twilight and her friends have done for _her_ Stardust.

Jack though... Jack was older than when both his counterparts first arrived on Equestria and Earth. Unlike their time between these worlds, Jack spent more years on his Earth, and his bubbling anger had simmered overtime, but to something arguably far worse than a grumpy disposition, and just as bad as the self-loathing he keeps hidden behind his eyes.

Depression. Raw guilt and pain from never getting over the past. Sunset couldn't relate any further, and she'll do everything she can to help, just as his pony self did everything to help her become a better person.

"God you're beautiful..." Jack murmured, evidently unable to restrain that comment. Sunset felt herself blush at the honesty, grinning lightly.

"Blunt."

"Aren't I?" He grinned, revealing sharp unorganized teeth. Sunset never cared what others thought of his appearance; he may not seem as handsome as his other two selves with the unkempt bedhead fringe, spots over face and forehead and rather messy facial hair. His personality outshone any unappealing physical factors. "I'm still disbelieving that none of the boys at CHS daily bow to your Goddessness."

There he goes again. Sunset would never grow tired of the compliments, always feeling her chest flutter at the man's casual observation to her, admittedly, over decent appearance. "Once again you exaggerate about my mediocre looks."

"Your modesty just makes you hotter, you know."

The blushing teen raised a brow. "Are you dating me solely for my looks?"

Jack smiled coyly. "If I were, would you blame me?"

Sunset laughed alongside him, Jack outstretching his arm for her to lean back in the midst of the waltz. The joyful teen called out playfully, "Hold me."

"Kiss me." Jack jokingly growled, twirling Sunset back into his arms with their faces inches from each other.

She whispered seductively, "Make me." Jack was all too happy to oblige...

DING.

Both startled lovers whirled their heads to the kitchen doorway, the young adult groaning in pure annoyance. "God dammit."

Sunset had to smile, despite the disappointment from their moment being interrupted by cookies, uncurling herself from Jack's warm embrace. "We can continue this afterwards. Come on, I wanna see if these cookies will make good snacks for rehearsals tomorrow."

"Honestly that's the last thing on my mind..."

She chuckled lightly at the grouchy mutter, looking over her shoulder as they headed into the next room. Sunset playfully inquired, "Don't tell me I'm on the forefront of your mind twenty-four seven, Jack?"

The short man grinned rather mischievously, waiting until they were by the oven, Sunset finding herself shuddering at the warm breath to her ear. "My dear Sunset..." And muttered things that made Sunset's feel ten times hotter than the freshly baked cookies.

Then, a buzzing from Jack's pocket, eliciting the beet red Sunset to laugh as she pulled out the tray. "For [BEEP]'s sake!" Jack rolled his eyes, checking who's calling. "It's like the world wants to stop me from getting intimate with the most gorgeous woman in the world... What is it Stardust?"

Sunset inspected the cookies in the meantime, trying desperately to banish those suggestive thoughts Jack intentionally planted in her head... And failing miserably. As she said, that man lacked the same amount of self-respect as his other two selves; Jack had no problem speaking his mind... Regardless of how private they _should_ remain.

The reddened Sunset at least checked on the fresh goods with a pleased smile and nod. Yep, they're perfect. Pinkie's teachings paid off spectacularly; she'll have to remind herself to thank her bubbly friend.

"Are you sure?"

Sunset glanced over her shoulder with a raised brow, noting the sudden edge to his tone and pale expression darkening. Usually signifying that something really, really bad was happening, prompting her slight worry. Jack wasn't usually as easily angry as his counterparts.

"[BEEP]!" Sunset blinked at the sudden profanity, almost jumping. Baring his teeth together, Jack nodded and answered back into the mobile, "Thanks for warning me. We'll sort this [BEEP] out tomorrow posthaste." And promptly cut off the call, glaring at the screen with an outraged flash in his eyes.

Immediately, Sunset reached out and cupped the man's cheek, making him meet her concerned yet firm gaze. "What is it?"

"Krampus." Jack grunted disdainfully, flinching slightly. "Or known in your world as Timber [BEEP]ing Spruce. That [BEEP]hole and his sister are visiting Canterlot High tomorrow."

* * *

 **AN: DUN DUN DUN! Until then my friends!**


	6. Timber Screwed

"Twilight, please, I didn't-"

"Just... Stop, Timber, okay? I made up my mind a long time ago."

To say things were tense inside the cafeteria was a grave understatement. With curious and anxious stares from students all observing the vocal conversation, it came as no surprise that one of the seven heroic girls of CHS was involved. Twilight was five feet away from the approaching green-haired camp counselor - _former,_ in this case - and she intended to keep it that way for as long as possible.

"Just listen to me Twilight. What happened was a huge misundertsanding."

"Timber, I'm not going to discuss this with you. It's already over between us, remember?"

"I only need you to hear me out, that's all. I know my appealing voice is the last thing you want to hear right now." Each step taken had Twilight wince faintly, but the invasive boy ignored this, just as he ignored the judging stares of Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity from their table, and the death glares from Stardust and his two counterparts from the side, ready to intervene if he overstepped his boundaries. "You haven't ran off yet, that's a good sign."

"'Ran off?'" Violet eyes sparkled incredulity. "I'm not afraid of you Timber."

"That's much better!" The arse had the audacity to grin playfully, reaching out gently, trying to coax the other teen. "I know we ended on a bad note, but I came here because I wanted to explain my actions. Plus, at this time of year, don't I deserve that chance."

Twilight only grew more indignant, trying her best to stay composed. Yet her body was trembling the further this continued, wrapping her arms around herself with another step back from the boy. From the corner of the girl's eye, her Stardust growled lowly, teeth bare and staring with intense disdain at the camper's back. Swallowing, Twilight addressed her former boyfriend with a firm stare.

"I'm sorry Timber, but you lost that chance the moment you tried to use me for your own selfish agendas." Twilight's voice was quivering, just the presence of this boy bringing her guard down, and not in the good way. "You... You wanted to make me stay with you at the camp for the sake of your legacy, and lied to me about it... How can I trust you ever again?"

Sighing, the boy rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I admit, I could've gone through this with a better method. But Twilight, I only wanted what's best for you. For us! I offered you a future after you finished high school! Isn't that what you-?"

"It's my decision to choose what to do after I graduate!" Twilight exclaimed heatedly, the influence of her current boyfriend rubbing off on her. Violet eyes glittered in anger, a fury reminiscent to her equine counterpart. Whom, by the way, was watching the proceedings with a concerned but understanding expression, keeping a firm grip on her own Stardust's shoulder to keep him from doing something reckless. Without hesitation, the teenager stormed towards the unnerved boy and jabbed him, rather roughly, in the chest, emphasizing every word. "I thought you cared about me! I thought we had something! But just like all those other girls you so callously mentioned, I was just another attempt for you to preserve your legacy." Timber stepped back, and Twilight added through a weary sigh. "Just... Leave, Timber, please... It's what's best for both of us."

Suddenly, a brown hand firmly grasped her wrist, Timber's green eyes now reflecting brief irritation. "I'm not going anywhere until we sort this- AH!"

"Touch her again..." A certain tall, golden teenager threatened with gritted teeth, clutching the pained camper's wrist with a vice grip, ready to break it in one second. "And you will not live to see Christmas Day." Twilight felt two hands of reassurance on both shoulders. In a flash, all three Stardust's formed a barrier between her and her ex.

Her Stardust roughly pushed the boy back, almost knocking him to the ground. Regaining composure, Timber rubbed his sore wrist and stared disbelievingly between the other teen and Twilight, gesturing with unhidden indignation.

 _"This_ is who you chose over me? Look at him, he's an animal!"

Stardust growled. "King of the Beasts..." Hazel eyes blazing in anger. Twilight almost gasped, recognizing the look without fault. Stardust, at least her Stardust, was often the angriest and violent of the trio, but in recent months his anger has tamed ever since the two had gotten closer. But this wasn't just mild irritation nor casual anger, his eyes and twitched lips showed a cold fury rarely witnessed only a few times.

It was that anger when Cinch took advantage of Twilight for her own goals.

It was that anger when Gia Everfree threatened him with hurting Twilight.

The look of resolution on Jack's face to her right spoke everything; if Timber didn't leave soon, things were going to get worse for him. Sunset and pony Twilight too recognized the expression, but they were hesitate to intervene. One angry Stardust was volcanic enough.

But three of them... Even Gia Everfree would flee.

Timber stood his ground, mistakably so. "You're making a big mistake Twilight, trust me. I've seen guys of his nature; he's a violent, aggressive brute who's undeserving of someone like you. I get it, our break-up made you emotionally vulnerable, and I regret that." The boy sighed in seeming remorse, but Twilight wasn't deterred. "But... I understand you, Twilight Sparkle. Better than he ever will."

"I agree." Twilight responded lightly, glancing to her current boyfriend protecting her from the green-haired boy. "Stardust can be volatile, and lose control of himself. He's heavily flawed, makes constant mistakes, and has a reckless tendency to throw himself in harm's way for the notion of protecting the people he loves." Closing her eyes, briefly, Twilight lowered her head, and released a small smile. "And that's what makes him perfect enough. I like him for who he is; his mistakes are humourous, his faults are endearing, and they make me feel more connected to him. Stardust might be the most flawed person I know... But at least he's honest about it. He doesn't see himself as a good person, but he tries to keep his friends... And me... Happy. He's nothing like you, Timber, and I wouldn't have him any other way."

Stardust - _Her_ Stardust - slowly turned to face her upon hearing that truth, his expression uncertain but his eyes expressing everything Twilight needed to hear. The audience released a sound of awe at the following passionate embrace, the two teens lost in their affectionate kiss. From the side, Sunset and pony Twilight traded glances of equal agreement and pride, whereas pony Stardust and Jack shared humoured and content looks, before stepping forward towards the distraught Timber themselves.

"You lost your chance with her long ago, boy." Pony Stardust started, blue-green eyes expressing a cold indifference as he and Jack stood side-by-side, this time protecting their other self and human Twilight. "You tried to persuade Twilight into living in your camp when she had her own life ahead of her, resorting to desperate means doing so. On top of that, you lied and concealed the truth from her, multiple times, in some asinine excuse of 'protecting her from harm.' Give my younger self credit, at least when he uses that excuse it's valid."

"You should leave, both you and your corrupt sister." Jack added with a steel edge, Timber somehow finding himself intimidated by the little man radiating so much contempt. "Twilight's future was never yours to take. It's her decision what she'll do in the future, and we, as her _friends,_ will support her every step of the way. Now, do us all a solid and [BEEP] off, otherwise you'll have three angry Jack's chasing after you. We're already holding ourselves back in respect for Twilight."

Timber looked between the boys and Twilight, watching her now being joined with the other smiling girls comforting and reassuring her, flinching at the multiple glares sent his way. From another table, Flash Sentry will regarding the green-haired camper in cold ire. Something both he and Stardust finally agree on.

Hell has frozen over.

"Is this... What you really want Twilight?" The camper made one last feeble attempt, taking a small step forward. "I can provide you with everything you want. A future, a loving boyfriend-"

"You don't know the first thing about what I want." The purple teen shook her head, beaming lightly to everyone around her but him. "I'm already happy enough with my friends." Resulting in noises of agreement and affection.

Seeing he was finally defeated, Timber slouched and turned, making a brisk exit past a worried Gloriosa and curious Principal Celestia, both of whom just entered the room. "What was that all about?" The ridiculously tall woman inquired with a frown.

Both pony Stardust and Jack let out breaths of relief, childishly high-fiving one another, to their Twilight and Sunset's amusement, before the latter boy swerved around and rubbed his two hands together as though nothing happened.

"Right, now let's get back to lunch. I'm [BEEP]ing starving!" Sunset laughed at her boyfriend's antics, everyone obliging happily. And some noted with endearing amusement over human Stardust and his girlfriend holding each other's hands back to the table contently.

* * *

 **AN: Until next time, my friends!**


	7. Stardust The Naughty Chef

So after that... Eventful scene at lunch, the girls and three Jack's proceeded back to the main hall, some quicker than others. Rarity and Rainbow Dash couldn't resist chuckling at the close proximity their friends and boyfriends were after that scene with Timber. Human Stardust and human Twilight were holding hands tightly down the hallway, expressing just another layer to their relationship was deepened after today. Twilight was blushing brightly at the attention but smiling fondly to her boyfriend, the taller one staring straight forward with a resolved expression.

Behind them, Jack and Sunset followed with their open defined closeness, the two playfully locking arms like a gentleman and his mistress, both smiling at each other without a care in the world. Out of the three relationships, theirs was the most... Physical. You can't go a minute without seeing the two either playfully shoving each other, brushing their strands of hair, leaning together or having intense make out sessions in empty hallways, closets or behind the school stage.

At the back of their friends, pony Stardust and his Princess followed in their human forms, not exactly touching each other for affection or the like. The longest relationship, theirs was the most mature and developed. The two nowadays often acted like husband and wife than regular teenagers regarding their interactions, as their friends would tease to their own embarrassment. Twilight, however, halted her Jack with a hand on his arm, prompting the boy to glance over to her.

"Are you alright?" The Princess asked knowingly, always sensing her warrior's emotions without fault.

"...Yeah." Stardust sighed, scratching the side of his beard with a sheepish grin. "Sorry, love, Timber just brings out the worst in me. I know you don't entirely approve of my actions just earlier..."

"It could've been handled better." Twilight admitted, nodding. "I'm just glad things hadn't escalated to something far worse." And softly smiled to her tall man. "Besides, you were defending your other self and his Twilight. I can't fault you for that."

Stardust smiled in turn, kissing the Princess's top head followed with a warm embrace. Twilight returned the hug, her warrior whispering into her forehead. "You're too good for me..."

She grinned while listening to his heartbeat. "So you often claim." Before the hug disengaged, ignoring the mischeavous smiles of students passing by. Twilight looked up to her special somepony with renewed vigour. "Come on, let's go help our friends with the sets. The play's only in two weeks."

And the two hurried after their friends, though at a deliberate pace, with Twilight leaning into Stardust's shoulder with a content smile. Yes, things were as they should be.

* * *

"I'm not gonna lie." Jack drawled, him and his counterparts standing by the other end of the hall. Rarity is preoccupying everyone by showing off all her custom-designed costumes. "I am not invested by this at all."

Human Stardust grunted, whereas the pony version scoffed with a grin, folding his arms alongside the other two. The one dating Princess Twilight narrowed his eyes in thought. "What was this play about, again?"

"[BEEP] if I know." The other Stardust responded indifferently, shrugging. "But if it's important to the girls..."

"...Well, looks as though the girls are busy anyway." Jack pointed out casually, smirking slyly to his other selves. "What are the chances they wouldn't notice us sneaking off to find something better to do?"

Both taller teens exchanged glances, before smiling darkly. "Well, we know how intensely invested they can be with projects," The pony Stardust began, glancing idly at the doors leading to the school corridors. "And we're not really playing any involvement now that all the actors have been chosen... Ideas gentlemen?"

His other iterations frowned contemplatively, the three of them deciding what they could possibly do to entertain themselves without their friends in a world as dull and humourless as this. The only sounds for the moment was Rarity's own enthusiasm as the others tried on her outfits, the three boys barely taking an interest. The only one noticing their dilemma was a certain blue-haired rockstar wannabe, watching them curiously.

Just then, human Stardust spoke up with good humour. "I know what we can do." His other selves turned to see his wide grin. Usually a bad sign. "Let's go complain at Celestia for being a terrible Principal."

"...Sounds good to me."

"Really, there's nothing else better to do around here."

In mutual agreement, the three strode off. Now, usually when dealing with yourself and alternate versions, you'd think agreeing with each other was common. They, however, due to their own influences from their surroundings and how much the girls have softened them up differently, often argued than agreed on matters... Aside from how much this world sucks with all its inhabitants, minus a very few exceptions.

Four minutes later, human Stardust guided his counterparts right to the Principal's door, barging right through without knowing, to the other two Jack's amusement. He strode through with purpose, ready to deliver Celestia the verbal thrashing for allowing Timber and his sister to enter the school.

"She must've gone out." Pony Stardust speculated when they noticed his human self didn't start immediately bashing the absent woman, noting how the whole office was empty. He sighed in mock disappointment. "So much for entertaining ourselves."

Noticing the intercom then, it was as if a light bulb suddenly went off in Jack's head, grinning in wickedness. "I have an idea..." The other two regarded their shorter version curiously, and Jack looked delightfully sinister, rubbing his hands together merrily and gestured to the intercom connected with all the speakers around the school. "Gentlemen... ASMR anyone?"

The look on his other selves' faces would scare off even King Sombra.

"Wow, these are really good Rarity!" Sunset complimented with a blissful grin, regarding the outfit adorned on her in satisfaction. "There are perfect for the play!"

"You flatter me, Sunset." The fashioner waved off the remark gracefully, beaming brightly to all her efforts being tried on by the actors and her friends. "I worry that the audience may become too distracted by my efforts as opposed to paying attention to the actual play."

"Hey guys." All turned to Spike, the human Twilight's Spike, sitting on the stage's edge and looking around. "Where did all three Stardust's go?"

"I saw them leave just earlier." Flash explained as the girls glanced around in surprise. "I guess they got bored and decided to amuse themselves."

Both Twilight's and Sunset shared startled glances, knowing what boredom could do to their boyfriends. And picturing the three of them growing bored together...

Rainbow snorted at their looks. "Whatever they're gonna be can't be worse than the time they painted the hallways with rainbow colours." Applejack winced, knowing her friend just jinxed them.

And the entire school, in either the library, classrooms or hallway, were suddenly having their attention directed to the three voices coming from the speakers spread all over Canterlot High, three voices that sounded exactly the same. But Twilight, human Twilight and Sunset knew their boyfriends well enough to recognize their individual conveyances and words.

 _"Stardust, you're a naughty chef."_

 _"A naughty chef... Okay."_

The hushed whispers behind their tones didn't help. The other girls exchanged confused looks with Flash, Spike, actors and the people working on the stage. Whereas three certain girls blushed; Sunset's eyes widened, human Twilight covered her deep red face behind her hands, and Princess Twilight groaned loudly, looking both fondly exasperated and deeply embarrassed. The three knew exactly what their boyfriends were doing.

Principal Celestia, meanwhile, was desperately trying to open the locked door to her office with no avail.

 _"Open those potatoes."_

 _"Jack... Would you like to chop my vegetables?"_

 _"I don't like this anymore."_

 _"Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop..."_

 _"I'll chop your vegetables Stardust..."_

"Please no..." Sunset whispered in horrified embarrassment as the others were slowly catching on, their faces shifting to red themselves. Rainbow Dash's, however, moreso from laughter.

 _"Jack, Jack... Peel the carrots."_

 _"Okay..."_

 _"Run the peeler... Down the carrot."_

 _"Stardust, I need you to grab my cucumber."_

 _"Oh, I've got your cucumber Stardust."_

 _"Let me just rustle the package first."_

 _"Hold on, I'm just gonna wash it..."_

 _"Oh yeah..."_

 _"Scrub scrub scrub..."_

Teachers, by this point, were trying to sound out the speakers by addressing the flustered students rather loudly. Whereas the majority of male teenagers were refraining from laughing too loud at the infamous trio's antics, the girls were trying not to giggle and share mischievous smiles across the classrooms. Applejack was comforting human Twilight with a pat on the back, the latter covering her reddened face completely with her palms. Pony Twilight was shaking her head, not as red and trying to fight off a growing amused smile.

 _"The shaft of your cucumber is so bumpy."_

And then Rainbow Dash burst into laughter, Pinkie joining her because she was Pinkie. Rarity was giggling behind her hand and Applejack glared at the ground, failing to fight off a wry grin. Fluttershy looked as deeply embarrassed, comforting the human Twilight now whom almost fell on her knees at that suggestive statement by the speakers. Sunset and pony Twilight shared bewildered and flustered glances, reaching a silent agreement that they were going to have words with their boys.

Although, really, this didn't entirely surprise the girls.

 _"That sauce is so good, I gotta lick it off my fingers. Hold on..."_

The licking sounds only incited the red-faced Celestia to go seek out her sister to see if she had a spare key.

 _"Oh that's good... Here, why don't you try this one? Here open your mouth."_

 _"Ahhhh...!"_

 _"Ah here it is. Here it is."_

 _"Oh yeah, that's really nice."_

Human Stardust's voice went loud and quiet with his statement. _"I like to get my fingers wet and you know... You know when you get some down there and then... Saliva..."_

By this point everyone was laughing or shaking their heads, or both, at the antics to the three. Meanwhile, said three were struggling to compose themselves around the intercom, their childish giggling heard even through the suggestive comments they made.

 _"Jack, here, here. Open the oven."_

 _"Hang on."_ A mock creaking sound.

 _"I gotta put this big roast in."_

 _"Just- Just be gentle."_

 _"Think I can slide it in?"_

 _"Tease it."_

 _"I think there's room."_

 _"Oil it."_

 _"Oh yeah. This feels good."_

 _"Base it!"_

 _"Set it to four-hundred degrees."_

 _"Nice..."_

 _"That's gonna cook up real good."_

 _"Look, look it's browning up."_

 _"Do you see the red sauce pouring all over it?"_

 _"Ohh yeah..."_

 _"The breast is my favourite part of the chicken."_

 _"...Succulent."_

"PFFT!" Rainbow was now clutching her sides, laughing quite loudly with Pinkie Pie. Stardust's one word was sending waves of embarrassment, humour and... Well, it's more that can be said for Sunset and the two Twilight's, all three looking anywhere but their friends and the hall speaker.

 _"I wanna take the drumstick and shove it down my throat."_

That final proclamation was met with the sound of a door slamming open through the intercom, followed with Principal Celestia's outraged voice. _"STARDUST BALANCE!"_

And loud laughter between the three stooges before the speakers turned off dramatically.

* * *

"Look, Hearth's Warming is only around the corner, and we need complete coordination and focus for Canterlot High's play to work." The Princess of Friendship turned to her boyfriend and his two alternate selves, looking both exasperated and hopeful. "Surely it's worth the effort to allow the holiday spirit help you endure Timber's stay at CHS for the time being?"

The three versions regarded Twilight with simultaneous blinks. And the following outrage synced in perfect harmony.

 _"The Hell it is!"_

"[BEEP] Timber!"

"What has that filthy camper ever done for us?!"

"He nearly killed everyone I love!"

Twilight sighed deeply. She knew her Jack would be difficult, but she had hoped the other two being with her human counterpart and Sunset would diminish their overactive contempt for the camp counselor. Still, she wasn't one to give up easily.

"I'm only asking you three, just this once, to cast aside this distaste for him in favour of enjoying the holiday spirit with your friends."

The three boys looked at the Princess as though she just demanded them to walk under the mistletoe with Flash.

"[BEEP] that!"

"Not worth it!"

"Not in a million years!"

This was gonna be a long day...

Long story short, Timber Spruce and Gloriosa Daisy were staying to help out and watch the play, hoping for some kind of repentance to their past mistakes. Naturally Stardust and his two selves were opposed to this, and met the very idea with revulsion and anger.

Twilight tried again, expression softening lovingly. "Can't you three do it, just for us...?"

They shared glances. _"No."_

The Princess huffed, turning around back to the hallway leading to the others. Well, it was worth a shot. "That's too bad, since they're staying regardless. Besides, you three can consider this the perfect punishment for your actions earlier with the intercom." Twilight tried hard not to blush at the memory, but failed once Jack called out to her retreating form.

"You're just mad you missed out!" The shorter version grinned playfully and looked to his other smirking selves. "I don't know about you gentlemen, but since we bashed Timber today AND made an ASMR in Celestia's office, I consider today a success."

"Oh, is that the case?" The boy immediately froze from the feminine voice behind him. "Because you have a girlfriend who really wants to talk about you about that."

Slowly turning, Jack's sheepish grin widened and clasped his hands together, a nervous glint in those hazel eyes. "Sunset!" He greeted the teen who was folding her arms, regarding the man with an unimpressed expression. "Did you like our surprise?"

In answer, the fiery-haired girl reached forward and grabbed her ridiculous boyfriend's ear, beginning to drag him away from the other two while passing both Stardust's with a pleasant smile. Both golden men tried not to shudder, recognizing that look meaning Sunset was planning something dastardly. Jack protested by the tugs as his pony girlfriend dragged him down the hallway.

"Ow! Come on Sunset I know you loved it- Ow! Be thankful that's my good ear- Ow! Jesus Christ, it's not any different than the things I say to you when we're alone- ARGH!"

Both Stardust's watched their poor shorter self by taken down a corner, the sounds of his pained objections dying out the further he unwillingly left. It took a minute in the empty corridor before pony Stardust spoke up.

"That boy is gonna get laid faster than either of us."

Human Stardust snorted, grinning crookedly. "Have you seen how touchy those two are together? I'm surprised they haven't gone all ape already."

Laughing lightly, the more bearded version turned to face his younger iteration. "Sorry to hear about Timber."

The other rolled his eyes, looking away bitterly. "I'll survive... Barely." Before glancing back to his other version in slight worry. "You don't think my Twilight's gonna be too mad about just before?"

"With the ASMR? Nah." The pony Stardust clasped his tall self on the shoulder, smiling reassuringly. "She's not as easy to annoy as Sunset or my Twilight. Though I imagine she'll want a stern word with you... After she's done blushing like a heated Savannah."

Human Stardust snorted, smiling in fondness while regarding the hallway. "She's always hopelessly adorable when she's flustered..."

The other nodded. "Come on then, let's go face the storm." And both proceeded back to where their friends waited, the pony version then added humouredly. "You have to admit though, that was probably the best thing for getting a detention you've ever done."

Their synced laughter echoed through the hallways.

* * *

 **AN: Until next time!**


End file.
